My Wife is Pregnant, what do I do? (Part 1) | Seattle Newborn Photography

 

 

Whether you have been trying to get pregnant for years, got pregnant easily, or you are both equally surprised by your unexpected pregnancy, bringing a baby into the world is an amazing feat. Maybe your partner told you they are pregnant with a sweet surprise or you stared and the pee stick together impatiently awaiting the results, regardless, it is time to celebrate! You are about to become a parent and that is incredible (and hard, and wonderful, and exhausting, and one of life’s greatest adventures). If you just found out your partner is pregnant, what happens next?

 

First cherish the excitement that comes with being the only two people in the world who know that a new little life is on the way. Take her out to dinner, go dancing, snuggle by the beach, and connect as a couple. If you choose the dinner option, double check some of the foods that pregnant people are supposed to avoid while pregnant. It would be such a bummer to take your meat and potatoes loving Midwest girl out for a nice medium rare steak only to find that she has to request that it be cooked well done. Bonus points for finding a delicious restaurant that she loves where they serve food that she doesn’t have to make any adjustments to the ingredients or preparation in order to enjoy a fantastic meal.

 

Check out the Mayo clinic or the CDC for some tips on foods to avoid and suggested alternatives:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy-nutrition/art-20043844

https://www.cdc.gov/food-safety/foods/pregnant-women.html

 

Then, tell her how beautiful, strong, and incredible she is. Tell her that she will be a fantastic mama. Tell her that she already is. Acknowledge that the challenges that come with carrying a baby might be really hard for her; the morning sickness, the fatigue, the heartburn, the food cravings and aversions, the body changes, ankle swelling, nerve pain, worries about giving birth, worries about whether or not the baby will be healthy, worries about whether or not she can do this. Support her, love her, treat her well, and let her get the rest she needs. Here’s some more specific suggestions on ways you can help her as you enter the world of parenthood together.

Man and Pregnant woman standing close with hands on her baby bump, smiling down at her belly. Standing next to white and black building in front of puget sound.

 

Before Baby Arrives

Whether you regularly help with housework or not, there are some tasks that you can take over which can really help out your partner and the baby.

Do the tasks that require the use of chemicals or paint that gives off fumes:

  • clean the bathrooms,

  • paint the nursery,

  • strip or bleach the cloth diapers that she’d really like to try to minimize your environmental impact. Check out Fluff Love and CD Science for comprehensive information to get you started on your cloth diaper journey https://fluffloveuniversity.com/.

Do the tasks that require a lot of bending over (especially as she gets further into the pregnancy):

  • bathe your older kiddos in the tub,

  • keep up on the gardening,

  • pick up the floor,

  • wash the dishes and load the dishwasher. Once she reaches the 3rd trimester, it gets surprisingly hard to reach the sink with the belly in the way.

 

Pregnant woman stands in silhouette along with tall PNW trees in front of puget sound with blue skies, green grass in the foreground, and shadows of the trees in the grass

As your partner’s pregnancy progresses, they are going to have so many things on their mind and decisions to make. Engaging in the research and decision-making can be really helpful as they try to navigate new topics that they may not be familiar with. So jump in and offer to take on some of the mental load. Here are some things she may find helpful

  • Does she need help finding a provider? Offer to help her research OBs and Midwives

  • Consider a prenatal/birth class. If she’s up for it, find a good one and register

  • Attend the prenatal class with your partner and ask questions about things you don’t understand

  • Read the birth class book

  • Attend appointments with your partner

  • Learn and understand what your partner’s preferences are during birth.

    • When she is in the depths of labor, you will be her number one advocate to help her get what she needs. Understanding what she wants and does not want during the birthing process can help you advocate for her as you work as a team to bring this beautiful life into the world.

    • Go through her birth plan with her and ask questions if you don’t understand something.

    • I loved the birth plan in Penny Simkin’s Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn. It covered things I hadn’t considered, but definitely needed to talk through with my husband before our kiddos arrived, just to make sure we were on the same page. https://www.pennysimkin.com/shop/pregnancy-childbirth-and-the-newborn-the-complete-guide/

  • Learn how to install the car seat

  • Learn how to give a great foot massage

  • Plan some relaxing date nights to help strengthen your connection before baby comes

  • Ask her if she wants maternity or newborn photos, help her find the perfect photographer, make sure she loves their work, and take care of booking the session(s)

    • (hint: I do both Maternity and in home Newborn sessions and would love to help you out with this!💜💜)

  • Plan a baby moon or quick weekend getaway to help her relax and to give you both a little calm in the chaos (make sure you don’t wait until too late in the pregnancy, especially if you intend to fly to your destination).

  • Help prep freezer food to make life after baby’s arrival a little easier

    • Breakfast burritos (these were especially amazing in the first few weeks when everyone is exhausted, but you all have to get up and moving to get to the pediatrician appointment, the 2 week check in with your partner’s provider, the lactation consultant and any other required outings.)

    • Soups/stews

    • Casseroles

    • Nutrient packed cookies or snacks (we made some yummy peanut butter balls before our first baby and they were a great quick bite of energy when I was wiped out)

  • Give her time to rest

  • Keep telling her how incredible she is!

baby girl in pink being held in mom's lap with dad and big sister touching baby's belly. family sitting on dark brown couch with big sis standing on white shag carpet. Photo taken from above

Expecting mamas are going to worry about all kinds of things in addition to being worried about growing a healthy baby and are likely going to feel overwhelmed by all of the decisions. Help address the worries that you can.

  • Research pediatricians

  • Research cribs

  • Research strollers

  • Research car seats

  • Read about baby wearing options

  • Read about ways to feed your baby and ask her if she has a preference on how she would like to feed the baby. Is she planning to nurse or bottle feed?

  • Paint the nursery, build the crib, and finish the house project that she’d love to have done before baby’s arrival.

Hopefully these ideas can get you started on your journey into parenthood. There are many additional opportunities to support your partner as they grow a tiny human, so feel free to brainstorm other things that can help ease the stress and overwhelm of this experience. Also, look for Part 2 of this series for more tips on little things you can do to support your growing family during delivery and after baby arrives.

If you are interested in scheduling a photo session to help record this beautiful and fleeting time in your lives, check out more information below or send me a message =)


Updated June 9, 2025

© Eickhoff Photography

 
Maternity, NewbornLindsay Eickhoff